Highlander II: There Should Have Been Only One

I don't want to get in the habit of doing movie reviews, as that is not what Mikes Soapbox is all about. I feel this should be shared with you all, so I have decided to do one.

In 1986 on of my all time favourite films was released. Highlander, a story about immortals living among us in secret, battling through the millennia until one remains. The only way to kill an immortal is by decapitation, and the most efficient method is by sword. Most immortals go by the name of their origin the Highlander from Scotland, and the Kurgan from Russia.

The movie tell the story of Connor McLeod played by Christopher Lambert. Who was born in Scotland in 1518 and has been kicking about in different countries and using different names ever since.

The movie opens with a page of dialogue told by Sean Connery who also stars in the movie.

From the dawn of time we came. Moving silently, down through the centuries. Living many secret lives. Struggling to reach the time of the gathering, when the few who remain will battle to the last.

No one has ever know we were among you..... until now.

Then something amazing happens....

QUEEN

The sound track was made by Queen, and classical score by the late Michael Kamen. Something that has never really been done before in a film based around historical period and has been imitated badly many times since. Take the Immersion breaking soundtrack of “A knights Tale.”

Queen's 1986 album A kind Of Magic is essentially the Highlander Soundtrack.

I digress.

After countless years of fighting the gathering is upon the few remaining immortals. There are now four left and they all have “An irresistible pull to a far away land” the land of New York in 1986.

The public is frightened about the spate of murders of foreign nationals involving decapitations and the police are “baffled”.

They fight until only one remains, that one becomes mortal and receives the prize. The prize is ultimate knowledge.

After the prize is my number one scariest bad guy ever to grace the movie screen. Forget Darth Vader. Forget the Terminator. The Mike's Soapbox award for being truly inconsolably evil and malicious goes to “The Kurgan” his real name is never really known perhaps he is so old that he has forgotten. the Kurgans were an ancient people, from Russia. A seven-foot tall savage brute with a broadsword, and the most nasty gravelly voice, that could only come from Clancy Brown.

He is the strongest of all the Immortals. One immortal only goes on living, to stop him claiming the prize, Connor McLeod.

The fight, an epic sword fight in an old warehouse, where the Kurgan is slain, and the reluctant hero claims the prize, and wants to use his knowledge to save humanity.

The movie is a kind of magic.

In 1992 its sequel was released after many delays budget cuts and script re writes. Highlander II the Quickening was released. The Quickening was briefly mentioned in the first film by Connors mentor Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez. Played by Sean Connery. The Quickening is an energy felt and shared by all Immortals.

The film opens with a futuristic glimpse of 1999.Yes I know. My Chronologies, but bear with this for a minute.

The Ozone layer is knackered and a team of top scientist and engineers lead by Connor McLeod to build an electromagnetic shield over the earth to protect it from the suns rays. 25 years later Connor McLeod is an old man living in cliché world of a deteriorating society and goes to the opera.

During this trip the movie takes a nosedive, falls through huge plot-holes and faceplants for another eighty minutes.

Connor McLeod is well known from the first film for spending a good portion of his time reminiscing of his past, friends and love ones and assures most that he would not forget them.

Well it turns out that after having ultimate knowledge for the best part of forty years, a voice in his head informs him that he is from another planet.

The planet Zeist to be exact. A planet with an evil dictator general Katana. Now the Highlander franchise has begun it can have its own reoccurring themes in true Sesame Street fashion. Today's immoral bad guy is brought to you by the letter K. McLeod and friend Ramerez are both exiled to the Earth for being rebels. The act of sending them to Earth causes them to become immortal. Sort of like sending English criminals to beautiful Australia. What sort of punishment is that?

Long and short of it Katana sends more exiles to kill off McLeod, failing, Mcleod becomes young again (somehow) and flies on a hover board and revives his long dead friend Ramerez (somehow) fully clothed in Scotland.

Katana exiles himself to earth and upsets a few people by driving a subway train at 400mph (somehow) and enrols himself in the company controlling the shield protecting the earth from harmful UV rays.

Meet Louise Marcus. A young attractive eco-warrior/terrorist running a group called Cobalt. She discovers that the shield is no longer needed and the Ozone layer has repaired itself (somehow) and the shield corporation is price fixing every country to keep the shield active. She goes to find the shield's creator our man Connor McLeod, he's just come out of a bar called RAP with some of its lettering stolen from the OPERA he's just visited. It is at this point where Katana’s assassins attack and after Connor decapitates two strangers and becomes 35 years younger, Louise Marcus and Connor kiss (for some reason), unless you have a copy of the Renegade Edition in which they have short, rough sexual intercourse in the alleyway where two corpses lay (again for some reason).

Lets talk about the Renegade Edition. It is nearly thirty minutes longer with added, and unnecessary scenes added and all references to the Planet Zeist are omitted. And the origins of the immortals are “a very long time ago” in a time where mankind had derelict spaceships and rifles (somehow). There would have had fewer plot holes if they were from the future, and then the time lines could have been less tangled. Because in their past you can see the future events on screen. Wouldn't it be more logical to view them retrospectively? If you have seen this version you would understand, but I don't want to advertise this awful movie.

The director Russell Mulcahy was so unhappy with the final release he wanted to change his directorial credit to Alan Smythie but was threatened with legal action if he did. He even walked out after 15 minutes of its premier too.

So the Renegade Edition was a chance to clear his name and save the movie.

Nice try but you cannot polish shit.