STAR WARS: THE CLOWN WARS

You wouldn’t believe how wound up about this I am.

Yesterday I saw the last film I am going to see from the dreaded “CGI Animal Factory”.
Since about 1995 every question about movies was answered by “Oh, we did it on a computer”.
Here are some examples,
“How did you animate the ballroom scene in Beauty and the Beast?”
“Oh, we did it on computer”

“How did you manage to make the magic carpet in Aladdin?”
“Oh, we did it on computer”
So on and so forth.
Anyone with a DVD collection and handful of DISC Twos, all will be full of “Oh, we did it on computer” style answers.

Then the Hollywood studios thought “F*** it. Do it all on computer.”
“Toy Story” was the first completely CGI movie. It was well written and was unique concept and could not have been done in any other way due to the plastic-ness of CGI at the time.
Traditional animation continues till the turn of the century then Hollywood began defecating CGI movies by the truckload. Some were well written but all could have been done by a talented artists drawing the witty cats and other happy smiley creatures by hand.

I bet thousands of talented artist get refused jobs for Disney now because they don’t want people that can use pens, paint and acetate, this is now becoming such a lost art. Not in Japan however, their anime industry is booming and continues to put some awesome stories out to the wider world. A personal favourite is “Steam Boy”

Back to Hollywood characters. Why are they are producing such dumb jar headed animals.
“I want a movie about penguins”
“Here’s one”
“That looks too much like a penguin. Now f*** up its face, gives it more expression that way you see kid's will f***ing love it.
Then I want movie with a zebra in it.”

The final straw came yesterday when I booked a day off work for the new Star Wars movie as I always do for Star Wars. Anyone that knows me or has read previous posts knows that “I Love Star Wars”. I love its continuity, I love its causality, I love its accessibility for all ages and above all I love its characters.

I should have gotten the hint when a trailer came on before hand for “Madagascar 2 Escape from the CGI animal factory” or something along those lines. But I digress slightly a the “Clone Wars was an Atrocious movie.

But the Younglings with ADHD in the audience seemed to love the movie, with all its “sustained peril” and bright flashy lights. So maybe it is just a kids film but star wars is supposed to be good for adults too, nearly three generations have grew up with Star Wars over the past 30 plus years with the exception of a few crazy old hermits. So to alienate this crowd of loyal fans was a travesty in itself.

The plot was non existent. There was no explored character arch of Anakin’s dark side there was very little Anakin and Obi-Wan style team work. Which I have always expected to see. From what I have read in the Clone Wars comics that these pair were nigh on invincible during the war between the Confederacy and the Republic.

Instead the film centres on Anakin’s apprentice. Yes an apprentice. You know the most important point in a Jedi knight’s career. And in this case the most important Jedi’s career, you know the apprentice omitted from “Revenge Of The Sith.”
I would have expected a mention of this character even if it was fleeting in episode III.

George Lucas nearly did himself a mischief in the seventies producing the first Star Wars film, due to the stresses it entailed in producing a movie practically on his own. Now he’s pumped one out for the summer holidays without trying. Even though he said the Skywalker story is done.
Even though there are many other interesting Jedi he could have focused on such without interfering with the cannon, such as Mace Windu, Kitt Fisto, Ki Adi Mundi. or even Jar Jar Binks would not have been out of place in this movie.

I’ve had enough of CGI movies.
Movies in general are dying on their asses Video games will take over soon.
I don’t know how you can produce a video game tie-in for a fraction of the cost and charge 8 times as much as a standard cinema ticket. A game which contains more story, a longer run time and is more engaging. I think someone’s missing a trick here.

Letters From The Underground

My favorite band the "Levellers" have released an album this week.
When I say "they released an album", I mean THEY. No middlemen involved.
They recorded, produced and distributed this album. The only TRUE "Indie" band.
In a week that saw the Kaiser Chiefs slam other bands for creating "Indie by numbers." They are a fine one to talk.

This album pulls no punches and doesn't use connotations dress up serious issues which they have been known to do in previous albums.
I love the album a friend referred to the lyrics as "deep". This is in fact false, the lyrics are more "NOT THE FACE" lyrics.
This is a real good quality punk album that the punk era sadly lacked.

My only criticism is that the lyrics can be a bit inaudible at some points.

please watch the video above, make up your own minds.
If you enjoy it, some choices lay before you. Buy it in shops, Download it or get a free copy off a mate that likes the levellers. Apathy is not an option.

I will save Piracy for a whole other post. But Jon Sevink Violinist for the Levellers stated in an interview this week "free music isn't the future, it's the present" I'll leave that statement with you.

Movie Reviews By 11 Yearolds.

I rarely read news papers, I happened across this today, and it annoyed me.
click on the picture below and read his article.



How cute it was. 11 yearolds writing news.

This was my resonding e-mail sent to the daily mail this afternoon I doubt that they would ever publish this letter.

I am commenting on the article on page 57 of The Daily Mail on the 12th of August 2008, written by Christopher Andrews aged 11.
I know this news paper is famed for heart warming tales, kids writing stuff etc, but this article is ridiculous.

He clearly has not seen the film himself. As he is only basing his article on some other articles that he has read himself.
He also claims to be a batman fan too this also sounds to be inaccurate, there have been many different incarnations of the "Joker" each one displaying a different origin.
This fact is briefly mentioned in "The Dark Knight".
So no depiction of a comic book character should be accepted as cannon.
I am in no way claiming to be a huge Batman fan, but I do however feel as I can comment on this topic.
The "latest" two "Batman" Movies are a reinvention of the franchise, to make them more realistic, they have achieved this flawlessly.
I'm sure no one compared Cesar Romero's Joker to Jack Nicholson's Joker. This is a new Joker, simple as.

How can he know about the Joker's origins in 1989 batman movie any way as he is 11 years old, and the movie is still rated 15, why was he allowed to see it.

If you want to discuss the use of knives and knife crime that is all well and good but don't leave these important issues for children to raise.

The Movie is fantastic. my only gripe is that it was rated a 12A. this should be debated more. I agree with Ian Duncan Smith on this one. It was too dark and violent for this rating and I have seen less violent movies get a higher rating.

Thank you for your time.

I do hope that this paper continues to use young people opinions on important matters.
I also hope that when young Christopher is old enough, he gets to see this movie and enjoy it on as many levels that I did.


mikes-soapbox.co.uk

Shopping Channel Gadgets

I really hate these adverts on television.
first of all they describe in a patronising tone, a problem that does not exist .

"Has this ever happened to you?" shot in black and white, usually showing some inept cretin trying to cut a vegetable with the flat side of a knife and making a mess because she is an idiot or something.

This has never happened to me. Leave me alone. You can no longer sell me the product.

But the advert continues and shows me some over engineered plastic junk made for slicing vegetables. It always does the job amazingly.

Have you ever wondered what sort of person buys these types of products?
Morons. That's who.

These clowns have answered yes to the first question on the advert. Then they given their credit card details to a complete stranger. waited for parcel to arrive.
Then they live off sliced fruit and vegetable for the first week, before realising that by the time you have assembled the gadget, used it for 2 seconds, then dismantled, washed and dried it you could have got a knife and sharpened it a bit and used that instead and only had to wash up one thing.

you'll still need a knife out anyways because the fruit and veg is too big to go on the tiny gadget you have payed 50 quid for, so no problem is eleminated from your life because you can't use a knife anyway, thats why you bought it remember.

JML direct trying to solve lifes problems with resorting to genocide.