Kids With Cutlery

We have become a nation confused.

After the media admits society demonises the young of today, leading to more disaffected youth and an increase in crimes committed by this age group.

Sadly the current zeitgeist crime of the “kids of today” and the twenty-four hour media too, is knife crime.

Children are so disaffected now that they are resorting to territoriality in the increasingly hard and grey urban environment. Groups form gangs and gangs compete for territory just like any other animal on your favourite BBC documentary.
Naturally and disturbingly there are casualties and fatalities, and nothing will sell a newspaper better than the death of a child on its front page innocent or not.

Children carry knives nowadays. Not all, but a lot. The government is fighting a losing battle, in trying to legislate the availability of knives to teenagers.
How on Earth do you stop this, when pretty much all the knives confiscated from the kids are kitchen knives? Not the kind of knife that Mick Dundee or Johnny Rambo has, no. These are ordinary Kitchen knives in on sale everywhere to anyone over the age of 16.

Today I was in Sainsbury’s. As our teaspoons had gone missing from my place of work I decided to purchase 6 spoons at a cost of 99 pence.
I proceeded to the self-check-out.

“Please scan your nectar card.”
BEEP.
“Please scan your items.”
BEEP BEEP BEEP. And my spoons. BEEP.
“AUTHENICATION NEEDED PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE”.
I have never talked to a computer before. For me these are marginally better than a vending machine, and I was in a state of disbelief.
“You what?” I exclaimed in great surprise. "They are spoons”
The guy next to me looked and smiled, I shrugged my shoulders at him and said
“ I can’t believe I’m being ID-ed for spoons”
A Queue had formed when I finally was able to beckon a member of staff over with the now immortal line “Can you authenticate my spoons for me please.”
She smiled and said, “The situation is becoming ridiculous” this obvious sweeping statement could refer to a number of things right now.
I left the store muttering the lines “This ones for the blog”
The last time I was asked for ID I said “Nah it’s a fair cop” and left the establishment having no ID and being underage anyway.

I have thought about all the things you can do with a spoon. I believe that 99.99% are quite benign if not essential usages of the humble spoon. The worst thing I could think of someone doing to me is if you take said teaspoon out a really hot beverage and place it on the back of someone’s hand.
My mum has even done it to me in jest when I was younger for being a pain. Now I’m a writer, for my own blog. So it did me no harm.
I myself can see no danger from spoons even in the wrong hands.

However if you made spoons harder to purchase in shops, like raising the age limit to buy spoons, thus making them a “bling” commodity, therefore replacing knives in in teen gang culture in the long term.
Adults will then be able to walk the streets at night. Teens will still congregate,
But now drinking nice, hot tea, or coffee if they are planning to stay out for longer.
Some would eventually get scalds to the back of the hands but I believe that to be a tiny percentage about 0.01% some teens would over indulge and have 10 pints of tea in one night and be “very refreshed”.

Hope to write another Blog again Spoon.